Mommy's Hardest Decision Ever

Hello everyone! Today Mommy is going to write a post about the hardest decision she ever had to make.  Of course, it has to do with a kitty.  But it does have a happy ending, cause.. well.. you'll see! OK, Mommy... go ahead....

I grew up with cats just about my entire life.  We had Frisky, Tabitha, Morris, Samantha and the love of my life, Marvin. Marvin was a black and white with a smudge on his nose that came to us when I was 19 and he was 8 weeks old, not long after Frisky died of Feline Leukemia.  Marvin was my sidekick, my baby, my friend, and a constant in my life full of changes.  I taught him to fetch and give kisses, but much to the dismay of my entire family he took his kisses to another level by biting our noses when we were sleeping which undoubtedly left us with red and swollen noses to explain to others. But that was Marvin.

When I was 31 I ended a long-term relationship and was absolutely devastated when I wasn't able to bring Marvin to live with me in my new apartment.  I cried hysterically to my mother who suggested I ask my soon to be ex-boyfriend if he and his daughter would keep him. They of course said yes, but I was still devastated.  I tried to alleviate my guilt by telling myself he was staying in the home he knew for years, with not only people he knew and who loved him, but he’d stay with his sidekick, another black and white named Samantha.  I knew he would be well cared for and that my mother would check on him, but the guilt still ran deep.

After I moved out I was never able to speak about Marvin.  Not having him left a hole in my heart and my life that I thought would be never be filled, and the remorse of leaving him behind never really went away.  My mother respected this and never forced the subject, nor did she ever make me think I made the wrong decision. A couple of times she said “I spoke to (ex-boyfriend) and (his daughter).  Marvin and Samantha are good” to which I would respond “OK”. A couple of years after Marvin went to the bridge she mentioned it in passing to me when it fit in a conversation, then continued on with what we were talking about without judgment. Somehow she knew deep down inside I would want to know – and of course she was right. I went home and cried.

Samantha (L) and Marvin (R) 

For the next 16 years I always lived in places that did not allow pets so I never had to think about having one. I did miss the companionship of a pet, but I think secretly I was glad I wasn’t able to have one.  One day in April, 2010 I was in Petco with my family buying supplies for my niece’s new puppy when I came across the Hudson Valley Human Society’s adoption table.  Now, the idea of actually owning a cat had not crossed my mind in 16 years.  But then I saw her: a beautiful black and white named Lexy who reminded me of my Marvin. I called my sister over to the table and kept saying, “Who does she look like? Who does she look like?”

When the volunteer told me she had been there for almost a year I had to ask why.  In my mind I was thinking something was “wrong” with her but I already knew I wouldn’t care.  All I could picture was this sweet baby being on display in a cage every weekend for a year looking for a forever home.  I decided right there that she needed a home. (Well, actually she needed ME! Or more accurately, I needed her.) I was told people thought she was too old (at nearly 2) or wanted more exotic looking cats.  The volunteer told me she was a “great cat” and would make a wonderful pet. She was also the favorite of many of the volunteers. When I put my hand in the cage to pet her she got up, turned around, gave me her back and totally ignored me. Even so I was in love and knew right then and there that we were meant to be together.  And we are.

Little did I know that the day I fell in love with Lexy would be the start of a new chapter in my life. Eight months after bringing her home I decided she needed a companion.  That’s when I came across Lola’s photo on Facebook. She was rescued after being thrown in a dumpster and I couldn't imagine anyone being so heartless and cruel to do something like that. I decided to go to meet her in the hospital just to show support. Well, one cannot possibly be immune to Lola’s charms and  five minutes later I adopted her.  She was such a mess - skin and bones, sneezey, and had a face full of mucus. This sweet little cat was so weak she couldn't even meow.  Once again it was love at first sight and Lola found her way into my heart immediately.  One week later she was discharged and came to her forever home.

I still think about Marvin, and have a photo of Samantha and him on my wall unit.  He's always nearby, and whenever I watch TV all I have to do is look up and there he is.  But I don't need a photo to remember him.  All I have to do is close my eyes, think of him, and feel my heart fill with love.

Dawn