Friends, this is another post I don't know how to start. With a very heavy heart I have to report that Lexy has made her transition to the Rainbow Bridge.
I still don't know what to say, so I'll fill you all in on what had been happening with her. (Please forgive poor grammar, punctuation and run on thoughts. And if it's too long for you to follow, just skip ahead. I promised many social media followers I would fill them in.)
The last picture I took of her at home. |
We had an appointment for follow up bloodwork on July 16. I'm glad that appointment was on the books because she was not feeling well again. She was nauseous and barely eating, and this time she had diarrhea and a fever. She received treatment and I was sent home with more meds. She was now on Prednisolone, Mirataz, Cerenia and Flagyl daily. Bloodwork this time showed a great improvement in her kidney levels, but her WBC was extremely high.
She started eating that afternoon and ate very well. But her appetite decreased daily and at one point she wouldn't even lick at her food. After a couple of days of not eating, and looking worse, I didn't think I could wait to get her to the vet and decided an ER visit was necessary.
Eating! Unfortunately, it didn't last long. |
I took her to the ER early in the morning on July 21. Her kidney levels had increased again, so the plan was to hospitalize her for either 12 or 24 hours so she could receive fluids and other meds in an attempt to bring her kidney values down. I went home to get some food for her and returned in the afternoon. I was told she would have bloodwork around 8:00 pm and the doctor would call me between 9:00 and 10:00 pm with an update. I was back at the ER at 7:00 pm, I wasn't waiting for a phone call. Her kidney values did not change, and the doctor said although she knew how much I wanted to bring Lexy home, she advised against it and suggested she stay overnight to continue to receive fluids. The evening nurse assigned to her told me she would most likely get bloodwork around 8:00 am the next morning and the doctor would probably call me at 10:00 am. Lexy had started eating pretty well, and I left the ER in better spirits.
She started enjoying the window again! She never lost that sassy leg pose. |
I was back at 8:30 am because, once again, I wasn't waiting for a phone call. I was also planning on getting my girl home as early as possible. When I arrived, she hadn't had her morning exam yet. I visited with her a bit and when they started working with her, I went to sit in the waiting room.
The doctor came out to speak to me, and the news was exactly the opposite of what I was expecting. Some very concerning complications had reared their ugly heads overnight. They performed an ultrasound because her kidney levels and WBC went up - Lexy was filling up with fluid. There was fluid surrounding her heart and lungs, as well as other cavities in her body. There were abnormalities with her liver as well and most likely she had cancer that metastasized. (My vet and I had always discussed the possibility of cancer due to her intestinal inflammation, but she always improved and got better with treatment for IBD.)
When I told him I wanted to take her home and keep her comfortable (I wasn't thinking straight at that point), I was told that wasn't really an option because her heart could stop, or she could have trouble breathing at any point. I asked him to call my vet to explain everything to her.
My vet, Dr. Clough, called me immediately after hanging up with the ER doctor and further explained the seriousness of the situation. I opted to take Lexy to her for euthanasia rather than having it done at the ER.
She was always a helpful co-worker. |
Lexy received outstanding care at the ER. One Vet Technician in particular was very smitten with her and was so kind. At the end of his shift, he came over to her kennel to say goodbye and she meowed at him. He said to her, "Oh, now you're going to chat me up?" He then put his things down, opened the door, and started loving up on her. And with a big smile on his face, he kissed her nose. I will never forget that.
It all happened quickly. So quickly, that my last couple of hours with her are still a blur and I wonder if those memories will remain clouded forever. Her euthanasia even went quickly. Faster than Lola's. I feel so much guilt over the fact that she spent her last night on this earthly plane without me, alone in a hospital, even though I have to realistically remember that if I didn't take her to the ER she could have passed very uncomfortably at home. I try to find solace in the fact that she passed with a full belly and was not starving, and that we caught this in time before she suffered a great deal. It was so fast, though, that I feel our last moments lacked the quality she deserved.
One of her favorite places during her last weeks. |
Lexy chose her transition very much the same way she lived her life - very practical and without pomp and circumstance. Even though I wanted to bring her home and have her transition on our bed, just like Lola did, that was not the way it was supposed to be. In the end, I did what was best for her, not me.
Just as I did with Lola, I listened to Lexy every step of the way. We fought everything that came our way with every ounce of our being, and when she said enough and that the time was right then, I honored that. I just can't believe how quickly she deteriorated, and my mind is still spinning over it.
Lexy in the hospital before we left. |
I want to extend many, many thanks to the staff at Veterinary Emergency Group in White Plains, NY, and to my vet, Dr. Lauren Clough, at Feline Veterinary Medical Center. I cannot find words to express my gratitude to all of them, or for the gratefulness I have for my relationship with Dr. Clough.
Thank you Coryelle, my dear friend, for answering my call early in the morning and talking me through the situation and for connecting with Lexy. And thank you to one of my oldest friends, Desiree for your insight and words of comfort. Desiree pictured Lexy flying around my head and felt that my sign from her would have something to do with birds.
A few hours after I got home, I had to get out of the house. As I approached my garage, two Mourning Doves were sitting there and then they both flew off into the sky together. I'm hoping that was my sign.
Thank you to all of you for your comments on social media, text messages, calls and DMs. Your support and caring at this time is so appreciated.
And thank you to Ann Adamus of Zoolatry for the beautiful graphics for Lexy.
My heart is shattered into a million pieces right now. I lost her six months and six days after Lola. I had only recently really started to heal from Lola's transition, and the reason I was healing was because of Lexy. Lexy was always my rock, my best friend. Her personality was always constant, and I could count on that. She was my soulmate, and I know I was her true love. She taught me that it's okay to love again after loss, and she opened up my closed heart and brought warmth and light back to cold, dark places.
I'm really lost on how to move ahead right now because Lexy and Lola were the main voices of the blog. I don't feel like I'm done writing, but I'm not quite sure how to proceed. I'm sure I'll figure things out in some time and will return. Cats need help, and I can't ignore that.
My Lexy Pops. My Bub. My Sassy Pants Girl. My Little Boo Boo. My Sunshine. What will I do without you? What will my world be like now? I will miss and love you forever and a day.
She was heartbroken after losing Lola. |
I know Lola was waiting for you, and the Dynamic Duo are together again. You missed her so much. Godspeed and fly free, my little love. Enjoy your body being whole again and feeling well. I know that's what you wanted. One day our special little family will again be the Dynamic Trio and I hope you'll both be waiting for me, many years from now, with open paws.
Thank you all for loving her. This isn't the post that Lexy deserves, so I will be back with an epic one for her.
Dawn
Dearest Dawn,
ReplyDeleteKnowing too well how such always 'unexpected' and painful farewells go. We can't endure looking at their pained eyes and want to ease their suffering. But it also seeps in that there is no real cure, only prolonged suffering. So letting them go is the most loving thing we can do for them!
Yes, our kitties are loving and loyal souls and they give so much as a companion. We will forever remember them and after time the raw feelings and pain from witnessing their decline will slowly go to the background. Remembering only the happy and playful times—full with mutual love.
Lexy was fortunate for having met you!
Hugs,
Mariette + Kitties
Dawn, I wish I had words that truly would help you, but we all know that we have to make our journey through grief in our own way and time. I wish you healing and peace and grace. Be kind and gentle with your Self and know that Lexy (and Lola) is with you, always. ❤️
ReplyDeleteLexy, all of us here in TT are truly sorry. It’s cliché to say
ReplyDeleteyou are in a better place because it doesn’t help mom’s broken heart. we hope in time she’ll know that you’re not truly gone, you’re in heaven with Lola, starting your tenth and forever life, and awaiting the time when you will
all see each other again. With hugs and loves to you and
mom…. dude, boomer, dai$y, tuna, sauce, mackerull and Laura 💖💖💖💖💖
Farewell, beautiful one ~ curl up now beside dear Lola, run free, be safe and well and whole forever. You will always be loved here ... always remembered here.
ReplyDeleteI thought your tribute to sweet Lexy was pretty epic. I sure had tears reading about here. Such a tough loss, it's never, ever easy. We all send hugs and love your way.
ReplyDeleteI’m broken for you Dawn. I also have lost my two voices for Nana’s blog. I am here if you want to talk.
ReplyDeleteDear Dawn
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read about the sudden passing of Lexy. I am familiar with the last stages of kidney disease. For the last year of her life Angel Madi was receiving SUB Q's and home. She went in to congestive heart failure due to fluid. Her itty bitty kitty heart was just too weak to go on.
L oved to the moon and back
E yes of so many pretty shades
X tremely missed
Y ou were a beautiful Tuxie Lady
Hugs Cecilia
we r so sorry fur your loss ov your beautiful Lexy. dee mum haz bin where your are before. jus know that she loved yoo like yoo loved her. your angel number for your girls iz 66, Angel number 66 is symbolic of deep love, compassion, and understanding and is closely associated with themes of family, balance, and unconditional love.
ReplyDeleteFarewell, Angel Lexy.
ReplyDeleteHugs and purrs...it's too sad.
Once again, I am bawling reading your posts. My heart ❤️ breaks 💔 for you. Losing the little ones we love so much is the hardest thing. I adored both Lola and Lexy. They were so adorable, sweet, a little sassy, but oh so dear to our hearts. Our home feels empty without their little faces starring at us, and loving us. You are abd were the best Mom to your girls. Lexy and Lola have there Angel Wings now. I bet there will be days when you feel a little flutter go by, it will be Lexy and Lola checking on you and giving you a kiss. May you find comfort that you gave 2 little gals the best possible life with unconditional love. I font think we ever really heal from losing our lille loved ones. I still cry and talk to the girls ii lost many years ago. I hope that you will continue with your blog although I know it will be hard. It is a remembrance and honor of your 2 sweet babies, Lola and Lexy.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Dawn. I know it's terribly hard to lose kitties. We send you purrs and hopes for peace and comfort.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. It's always so heartbreaking to lose our beloved kitties. Sending you my thoughts and condolences.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences, Dawn. The pain is hard to bear, I know, as do we all here who are gathering to send you our love and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing more than I can say, other than..." Thank you Lexy, thank you for everything you brought to my life."
ReplyDeleteHard as it is to feel it right now, Lexy and Lola will always be with you.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI’m so very sorry, Dawn. Goodbye is never easy, especially the unexpected ones. But she was given the gift and dignity of transitioning on her terms. While the pain never goes away, there is beauty and comfort in knowing the memories you shared with your best friend will always be in your heart. Xoxox – Deb and the Zee/Zoey gang.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Lexy. Huge hugs♥
ReplyDeleteWords are never enough, but I do send my deepest sympathy on Lexy's passing. Reunited with Lola, they will both always be remembered.
ReplyDeleteDeer Miss Dawn this ISS an epick Mewomorial Post!!! Wee are so sorry that Lexy went so soon aftur Lola. It must bee furry diffycult. Pleese nose wee send all our sympaffiess an (((hugss))) an ***purrss*** an <3 <3 <3 <3 to you an yore 'angelss'.
ReplyDeleteBellaDharma an BellaSita Mum
I am so sorry for the loss of sweet Lexy. I wish I had some words of comfort right now, but I know there are none. Sending you love and hugs. XO
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe you've lost both of your beautiful girls so close together. I'm happy they've reunited, but I know your heart is completely shattered. They were both so, so lucky to have you, and they're watching over you now.
ReplyDeleteVery sad, very sad. It sounds like how my Renn exited this world recently. There is always that dreadful moment when they won't eat, no matter. That makes the heart very heavy, especially when they have so many other problems. Very sad. Godspeed, Lexy.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking😿and we're so sorry you had to let go your beloved Lexy. Soft Pawkisses to comfort you🐾😽💞Fly free beautiful Soul✨
ReplyDeleteWe are devasted to hear of Lexy's departure to The Rainbow Ream 💔🌈💔 We send oodles of gentle hugs and soft purrs, and know that mew are in our thoughts and prayers at this sad time. xx
ReplyDeleteSo many tears. We loved reading about Lexi and she will be so missed. Thank you for sharing her with us all and of course, for loving her. Fly free, sweetie.
ReplyDeleteTerrible experience 😪
ReplyDeleteMy heart is broken for you, Dawn. I'm all leaky eyed right now. Lexy knew so much love with you. I'm sending you hugs.
ReplyDeleteDear Dawn, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Lexy. You did all you could for her and while I know you're heartbroken the end was not what you would have chosen, I'm sure she knew you loved her every minute she was with you. Losing a pet is never easy-please know we are sending tender thoughts of comfort. Hugs and tail wags from me, Elsa & Wilson, the House Pony. 💔
ReplyDeleteI really can't add to all these heartfelt and beautifully worded condolences. What I can add is another virtual hug and state that you are not alone. Hugs my dear.
ReplyDeletePS Lola the Rescued Cat lives on in our hearts forever, as well!
Dear Dawn, I am crying as I write this. This post was a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to lovely Lexy. We have lost a few of ours so quickly we could not wrap our heads around it. We never want to see our babies suffer, but we do want to share our time with them before they move on. I know in my heart that both girls will be waiting for you and will be watching over you always. They had wonderful lives filled with love. Kitties Blue and I will remember them on our Sunday Selfies post. I am sending love, prayers and warm hugs as you grieve, Janet 💔🙏🏻
ReplyDeleteWe are heartbroken to read of your loss. It was such a shock. We do not know what We can say to comfort you. We can only send purrs of healing, and loving pawpats. That was such a beautiful tribute to sweet Lexy that you wrote. Yes, We are certain those two Mourning Doves were a Sign sent by her and Lola, to let you know that they are together again and not to worry, because they will be watching over you from now on from the Bridge, until the time comes for the three of you to be together once more.
ReplyDeleteNow that you are made young and healthy again, sweet Lexy - fly free, safe in the Loving Paw of the Great Cat in the Sky.
We are heartbroken to learn of Lexy's passing, Dawn. Thank you for loving her so much, and for sharing he with all of us. We're sending love, and gentle purrs and prayers your way as you miss your beloved girl.
ReplyDeleteWe read of your incredibly hard loss of two of your cat-kids so close together.....it's always horribly hard but this was a double punch of heartbreak and we are so sad. Your Angels will always be with you. But the heartache we sustain initially is like a dark shadow that follows us for a long while. I'm sure they had the very best life they could have had with you........sending you hugs.
ReplyDeletePam and Teddy
Hi there
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to express my condolences. She was such a pretty kitty, I know she will be deeply missed.
I can’t imagine what you’re feeling after the loss of precious Lexy so soon after Lola. There’s only solace in knowing you gave her an amazing life, and the chance you may be reunited someday. My heart goes out to you.
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